Double The Fathers Day!

I have a sort of a different situation when it comes to Fathers day. My mom and real dad, Benji, divorced when I was a tiny little baby. My mom then got remarried to my step dad, Paul, when I was about 3 years old. So as you would probably guess I celebrate two fathers on fathers day...not so fast. Up until this Fathers day it has always been a chore for me to call my real dad and wish him a happy fathers day, half the time I would forget. He hasn't been the best dad or even a mediocre dad to my brother and I as we were growing up. However, this past weekend Benji had a wake up call and leveled with me on quite a few things.

I will talk a little more about this later in the post but right now I would like to turn your attention to an amazing man and father, my step dad Paul. He has been there for my brother and I through everything and has never treated us like we weren't his own blood. As far as I am concerned he is my Dad. He is the one who taught me how to ride a bike, snow ski, wake board, and never missed ONE of my dance recitals or drill team competitions when I was a kid. He always has the best advice for every situation and has taught me how to have a positive outlook on life. I couldn't imagine my life with out this wonderful man and I thank God for letting him into my Mom's life. He is a wonderful man with so much insight and passion for his family. So I want to say thank you dad for being such a wonderful influence on me. I love you.

He's the awesome one in the middle :)

Now back to Benji. He wasn't always there for us. He would take us on Wednesday's and every other weekend when we were younger but we never really got to have the father daughter relationship that my step dad and I have. However, like I said in my previous post we have been talking more better and building our relationship with one another lately. When it comes to Benji, I am a sucker for believing his empty promises and forgiving him when he lies to me. I have tried to be better about it lately and he has tried to be more honest with me which helps a lot.

A quick background on my padre real quick: He has had a drug addiction for a very very long time. It has ruined his marriage along with his relationship with his kids, family, and burned many friendships. So many people have given up on him that I feel like I am the only one who can keep that little bit of hope lit in his heart that he can and will get better. I haven't been able to get through to him about how bad his drug addiction is until this last Saturday. I was shocked when he said to me. "I need help. I thought I could do this on my own but I can't. I need treatment or something to help me get rid of my addictions." It was honestly a relief to hear this from one of the most prideful and stubborn men I have ever known.

I wanted to word vomit all of the options I know of that could help him and how long the treatment would be but I didn't want to scare this long hoped for thought away. Instead I supported him and told him how proud I was that he sees this. I told him I am here for him and if he needed help finding places or options that I would be more than happy to help him out. I know you are supposed to give your fathers gifts on Fathers day but I feel like this was my fathers gift to me and it seemed more than fitting in regards to our past. I love this man and I want more than anything for him to get better.

Sorry, this is the only picture I have of us so I'm uploading it agian.

I love both my dads very much, in very different ways. I have unconditional love for them both but have a childs love for my step dad and a caretakers love for my real dad. They both have taught me many things whether it's leading by example or showing me what not to do. I have my real dad to thank for never touching drugs, and I have my step dad to thank for stepping up and being that father figure I needed as a child and even now as an adult. I wonder if that's why they are called step dads??