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Saturday, October 4, 2014

Why You Gotta Be So Rude??

So, it's been awhile since I've written a post but I need to get this off my chest and this is the best way for me to do it. I want to talk about mean girls. Not the leave you out, give you the cold shoulder kind, but the pretend to be your friend then intentionally make you feel like you aren't good enough kind. The send you text messages pretending to be your "BFF" but talk bad about you and laugh at inside jokes you don't know kind of mean girls.
 These types of mean girls are almost worse than the ones who just ignore you. That constant emotional roller coaster they strap you into is nauseating. You can't bring yourself to believe that what they are saying isn't genuine and they are doing this to you for their own pleasure. It sucks. What sucks even worse is seeing someone you love going through that exact situation and you can't be there 24/7 for her to protect her from these girls. All you can do is give advice from your own experiences and hope it helps.

For most everyone who follows or reads my blog high school is but a distant memory. I know I had to deal with this exact same thing. I would go home in tears wondering what I did for these girls to be so mean to me. One minute they would act like someone I could turn to and confide in and the next they are laughing about what I told them, talking behind my back, or spreading rumors about me. Like I said, it sucks. You lose so much self confidence and constantly replay situations in your head thinking how you could have done things differently. But, I am grown up now and this post isn't about me.

What makes mean girls even worse now days is the constant access to social media. Especially SnapChat. I mean you can send anything and it is gone in 10 seconds max. You can even text on it now and the message erases the minute you read it. This is a mean girls heaven. What makes me the most sick about mean girls is the "innocence card". When they pretend to have no clue why you would be upset at the mean things they are doing to you. This seriously makes me the most angry being an outsider looking in. I hate manipulative people. Especially when they are manipulating someone I love.

I don't fully understand why girls do this. But my advice to anyone who has to deal with this is DO NOT change who you are to try and fit in. You will only end up with less confidence than when this all started. 9 times out of 10 these girls are jealous of you. They want something you have that they can never get. Keep being yourself and be CONFIDENT in who you are because in all of this, that is the one thing you have control over. You can't make them stop. You can't make them genuinely care for you. But most of all, you can't let them know they are getting to you. Don't play the victim card. This is the card mean girls want you to pull out so badly because they means they won. That means they broke you down so much that you are now doubting yourself. You don't need fake friends in your life. Instead reach out to other girls who are being mistreated and help them regain their confidence. You will be amazed at the true, genuine, friendships that grow out of ones that aren't forced. Reach out to your family, they are the constant source of love that will always be there for you. Let them know what you are going through and that you need a little extra lovin. I promise it will help. I also promise that Karma is a bitch and it will get back to them. Maybe not tomorrow, or next week, or even next year, but you just wait....their Karma is building on up waiting for the right time to give them a swift kick in the ass.

Have you ever had to deal with Mean Girls? How did you deal with it?

Monday, February 17, 2014

Saying Sorry

There is something about receiving a genuine apology that makes that wound heal much faster. I am not the most confrontational person. A lot of times I will just let people say mean things and I will be the one to apologize for whatever it is just to smooth things over. I have learned that this gives that other person a sense of satisfaction and does smooth things over but I am left feeling frustrated and at fault for something I didn't really do. I have been working on standing up for myself and being more firm when it comes to this kind of stuff. In doing this I have learned that some people just don't say "I'm sorry" or "I was wrong". This is extremely frustrating for someone who over uses these words. When I feel mistreated I expect an apology and when I don't get it, it really sucks. It makes me question if me just apologizing would be better. It's not. I try to be a very positive person and see the best in people but there is a lot to be said about those two words and the people who can genuinely say them or not. Have you ever wanted an apology you never got? How did you deal with it?