Why You Gotta Be So Rude??

So, it's been awhile since I've written a post but I need to get this off my chest and this is the best way for me to do it. I want to talk about mean girls. Not the leave you out, give you the cold shoulder kind, but the pretend to be your friend then intentionally make you feel like you aren't good enough kind. The send you text messages pretending to be your "BFF" but talk bad about you and laugh at inside jokes you don't know kind of mean girls.
 These types of mean girls are almost worse than the ones who just ignore you. That constant emotional roller coaster they strap you into is nauseating. You can't bring yourself to believe that what they are saying isn't genuine and they are doing this to you for their own pleasure. It sucks. What sucks even worse is seeing someone you love going through that exact situation and you can't be there 24/7 for her to protect her from these girls. All you can do is give advice from your own experiences and hope it helps.

For most everyone who follows or reads my blog high school is but a distant memory. I know I had to deal with this exact same thing. I would go home in tears wondering what I did for these girls to be so mean to me. One minute they would act like someone I could turn to and confide in and the next they are laughing about what I told them, talking behind my back, or spreading rumors about me. Like I said, it sucks. You lose so much self confidence and constantly replay situations in your head thinking how you could have done things differently. But, I am grown up now and this post isn't about me.

What makes mean girls even worse now days is the constant access to social media. Especially SnapChat. I mean you can send anything and it is gone in 10 seconds max. You can even text on it now and the message erases the minute you read it. This is a mean girls heaven. What makes me the most sick about mean girls is the "innocence card". When they pretend to have no clue why you would be upset at the mean things they are doing to you. This seriously makes me the most angry being an outsider looking in. I hate manipulative people. Especially when they are manipulating someone I love.

I don't fully understand why girls do this. But my advice to anyone who has to deal with this is DO NOT change who you are to try and fit in. You will only end up with less confidence than when this all started. 9 times out of 10 these girls are jealous of you. They want something you have that they can never get. Keep being yourself and be CONFIDENT in who you are because in all of this, that is the one thing you have control over. You can't make them stop. You can't make them genuinely care for you. But most of all, you can't let them know they are getting to you. Don't play the victim card. This is the card mean girls want you to pull out so badly because they means they won. That means they broke you down so much that you are now doubting yourself. You don't need fake friends in your life. Instead reach out to other girls who are being mistreated and help them regain their confidence. You will be amazed at the true, genuine, friendships that grow out of ones that aren't forced. Reach out to your family, they are the constant source of love that will always be there for you. Let them know what you are going through and that you need a little extra lovin. I promise it will help. I also promise that Karma is a bitch and it will get back to them. Maybe not tomorrow, or next week, or even next year, but you just wait....their Karma is building on up waiting for the right time to give them a swift kick in the ass.

Have you ever had to deal with Mean Girls? How did you deal with it?

Saying Sorry

There is something about receiving a genuine apology that makes that wound heal much faster. I am not the most confrontational person. A lot of times I will just let people say mean things and I will be the one to apologize for whatever it is just to smooth things over. I have learned that this gives that other person a sense of satisfaction and does smooth things over but I am left feeling frustrated and at fault for something I didn't really do. I have been working on standing up for myself and being more firm when it comes to this kind of stuff. In doing this I have learned that some people just don't say "I'm sorry" or "I was wrong". This is extremely frustrating for someone who over uses these words. When I feel mistreated I expect an apology and when I don't get it, it really sucks. It makes me question if me just apologizing would be better. It's not. I try to be a very positive person and see the best in people but there is a lot to be said about those two words and the people who can genuinely say them or not. Have you ever wanted an apology you never got? How did you deal with it? 

The Woman of the Month...My Grandma!

Today is a very special day, it is my Grandma's Birthday! She is the most beautiful woman I know. When I was younger I thought that all Grandparents were like mine. I thought every grandchild got the week long vacations with their cousins every year to be completely spoiled. I remember my grandma would make us give her a list of all the candy and junk food we wanted for our time with them. We would get all hopped up on sugar and pies and have the time of our lives! Needless to say now that I am older, I know I am one of the few lucky ones who get to have amazing grandparents.

My Grandma is the sweetest lady you will ever meet. She is amazing at cooking and baking, especially holiday foods, and is the funniest woman in the world. Even to this day, as a 23 year old adult, I still look forward to visiting my grandparents! Shane and I got to go up and see them about a month ago along with my cousin Carinne and her man Jordan. It is amazing how much fun we can have with my grandparents. My Grandma baked a peach pie and had homemade peach jam for us. She made her famous spaghetti and stayed up late with us to play games and visit. We got to look at all of her and my grandpas old pictures and learn so much about their family history. I am so blessed to have a Grandma who is an amazing example to her grandchildren.

Sooooo....We're Moving!

So many things are changing in our wonderful married lives! Shane got a job offer at a Cadillac dealership last week and he took it. The dealership in downtown Salt Lake, which means we are moving to SLC Utah! I was born and raised in northern Utah and moved to Cedar City about 5 years ago.....five years! Cedar City is a smaller town and is about 45 minutes north of St. George UT. It has been really easy to live here because its extremely affordable and everything is so close. I have to admit having St. Geezy 45 min away and Vegas 2 hours away has been sooooo sweet! However, I miss my family and friends up in northern Utah and there aren't too many job opportunities here in Cedar City. So long story short, Shane started looking for jobs in St. George, Salt Lake, and California. Salt Lake was the first one to pan out and be a great opportunity for us and our future. (I'm slightly biased)

Shane starts his new job tomorrow and is leaving me tonight. Luckily we have amazing friends and he is going to be staying with them for a little while. I have to stay in Cedar City because this awesome school called Southern Utah University cut me short 5 credits from graduating. So, I am finishing school until the middle of December here. I don't mind too much because I love the people that I work with right now and I am able to stay with my brother in law and his wonderful family. I am really glad to not be alone and that Bugsley has people to play around with all day. However, I am going to miss Shane like crazy! I know it sounds super cliche to say this but he is my best friend, the best part of my day. I can't wait to go home after work and tell him all the crazy things that happened! Now Bugsley is going to have to hear about all the crazies! I can confide in Shane and beg him to go upstairs to get me water so I don't have to. He is the one that reminds me to do things! I mean Bugsley can only take on so much with him leaving. The longest we have ever been apart is like a week so this is going to be a big change for us. A good change though. I am just not sure what to expect or how to function with out him! He carries a lot of the weight with house things right now like laundy, making the bed, making my lunch, making my breakfast, fixing my car, and pretty much anything that has to do with cleaning. I am actually going to have to be a grown ass adult and do things for myself....and Bugsley!

I have been so spoiled with him always being here with Bug, taking her outside, feeding her, playing with her, and pretty much everything else with her. Now I am going to get to do all those things. I have been so spoiled! Bugs is going to miss Shane too because she is always following him around! When he was sick last month she never left his side. When I was sick...she could've cared less haha. On the bright side it will be great bonding time for Bugsley and me. Maybe I can get her 100% potty trained and teach her some cool tricks to impress Shane when he comes to visit.

All in all this is a really great thing for us. I am excited for the opportunities we have in Salt Lake to really grow and make some good money. I know Shane will kick major ass at his new job and everyone will love him. I am also extremely happy that he has to wear a dress shirt and tie every day! So many amazing things are in store for us and by making this move I feel like we are taking a step in the right direction.

I thought this was fitting

I'm losing my gym buddy!

This is Shane and Bugsley being reunited when we got back from our honeymoon

I told you he does everything for Buggaler!

Hey, Mr. Blue Eyes

Everyone has their struggles in life. Some are bigger than others. Some people never overcome these struggles and others find the willpower to slap them in the face. I know a man who has done just that. A man I am proud to call my father. In order to really understand this story I need to give a little background on our history.

My mom and real dad, Benji, divorced when I was a tiny little baby. I have zero memories of them ever being together. My mom remarried when I was about 3 years old to my wonderful step dad, Paul, who raised us as his own children. Benji struggled with life, with us kids, with addiction.

This particular struggle I am speaking of is a life long struggle with drugs. Having a father do the types of things that I heard and knew Benji was doing was one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. I had so many emotions towards him growing up. I felt hopelessness, fear, unconditional love, betrayal, hatred, deceit and so many many more. I'm almost positive those feelings are nothing compared to the feelings he felt towards himself.

For as long as I can remember my dad had been a user. He never used openly in front of us kids but he also didn't always put us first. From the age of about 5 to 22 I dealt with the emotional roller coaster my dad took me on through out his addiction. The strangest thing is that no matter how bad it got or how long we went with out talking to each other I always had this little light of hope inside me that one day he would become clean and I would get to see this wonderful man everyone would tell be about. This sliver of hope literally reminded me of the tiny sliver of a moon we get every once in awhile. Throughout all the darkness in the sky this little sliver seems to find enough light to shine over the whole city.

It was around this time last year I decided to call the TV show Intervention and see if they could get my dad on there to help him. The producers called me and were on board to get things rolling. However, little did I know, my dad was already starting to build up his courage to be done with his addiction. I think, for him, things had gotten so out of hand he knew he either needed to clean himself up or he was going to be spending his time in prison. He got the opportunity to enroll and be apart of an outpatient rehabilitation program in Utah called DORA. He has gotten clean, has a steady job and from what I have heard he has been making great progress!

As his daughter one of my biggest fears was that he wouldn't be in my life to see me walk down the isle, or dance with me on my wedding day. Well, that day has come and gone and not only was he there physically but the fun, loving, outgoing guy that everyone talked about was there. My dad was there. Physically, emotionally, and mentally. It was the absolute best wedding gift I could have ever received. His eyes were this crystal blue color I have never seen before. I can actually look into his eyes and see how much more alive his soul is. It is literally a dream come true.

If you are reading this dad, I love you to the moon and back. I also admire what you have overcome.

Our Father Daughter dance to "My Girl"

I love him

That One Time I Got Engaged and Never Blogged Again...

Oh heeeey...I'm married now. We also have a dog, my parents are getting a divorce, oh and Shane and I will hopefully be moving to California.

I guess you can say that A LOT has happened in 8 months. I have literally had the absolute most amazing and most stressful moments of my life since I have last blogged! Getting married is a lot of work and I don't think I had any idea how stressful it would be! I want to blog about everything now that it is all over with and I'm not a headcase anymore. I am going to try and start from after the engagement....

The news came at the beginning of the new year. I think we kind of expected it but none the less it was official. My parents were separating, and getting a divorce. Honestly it is for the best and they will both be so much happier. None the less, it doesn't make it any easier to swallow. It also makes it slightly difficult to plan the biggest day of your new marriage when your parents are going through the process of ending theirs. Buuut that's enough of that.


Our puppy is the most wonderful decision we have ever made! (Aside from getting married). Her name is Bugsley, she is a shihtzuh, and she is the cutest furbaby ever. We are in love with her. We got her Easter weekend and she is the best thing I have ever found. I'm not sure how great of trainers we are though because she is 6 months old and we are still struggling with the potty training thing. Any tips would be more than helpful!!
 

This was the first day we got her!

This was today! She has gotten so big!

The engagements were amazing! I felt like a model! We towed the bus up to Evanston, WY and Park City, UT. We had the most phenomenal photographer alive. SK Photography is a magic maker! Sarrah is the most wonderful person to work with and her editing is unreal. Shane and I had a blast doing all of the photos together. Not to mention we had 3 outfit changes and at one shoot we were up at 6am to get the "good light". Totally worth it. Here are a few of our engagements:

The Wedding was a dream come true! But it obviously deserves it's own post!! So when I get the photos back from our photographer I will blog away about the whole thing!!   

So This Is Life.

Before I say anything I want to say thanks to all the awesome comments I got on my last post! Seriously it helped so much! Shane and I have decided to cut our list down and are finalizing it this week. We thought about doing no kids but I really want his nieces and nephews in our wedding so we are cutting it down to close family and friends. I really hope that those who are not invited don't get offended.

I have another question though! Do you send out wedding announcements to people you aren't inviting? Or just send nothing at all? That part confuses me.

Anyways! Shane and I got a huge taste of life this last week. He was let go from his current position at Good Year Tire and Auto. Why you ask? "The owners are wanting to go in a different direction with you." is the answer he got. He asked if there was something he had done and they said his work ethic is great, his sales were above theirs, but the owners just wanted to go in a different direction. WHO SAYS THAT?!?! The really messed up thing is that the two managers that were telling him this sat there and acted like this was all new to them and they pretended to be in shock. They kept telling Shane that they would figure something out and make sure he still had his position. They sat and told him how they have his back and they are going to make sure everything works out. They text him all last weekend reassuring him of this. However, literally the next day they had a new guy in his position. Who is this new guy you ask? THEIR FRIEND!!

I'm not worried about what Shane and I are going to do about our bills or anything along the lines of money. We are extremely smart on that end. I am just frustrated that there are shady and back stabbing people out there that do those kinds of things. I thank God that Shane is an extremely productive person and he will find a new job very soon. In the mean time he is finding ways to make money on the side which is something I absolutely adore about him.

I am a firm believer in karma and that what you put out into the universe will come back to you. There is always a plan for everything and there is a reason that position didn't work out for him. It may feel unfair and frustrating right now but down the road I know we will look back and be grateful that it happened. I don't know what will make us do that but I do know we will feel that way. I'm glad our relationship and our love for each other is strong enough to overcome these types of obstacles in life.

 

That last one definitely reminds me of Shane. I hope you have all had a great weekend! :)